Sunday, May 21, 2006

Big BUG!!

I have a HUGE bug in my garden!! It is infested and it threatens to steal all the enjoyment I get from my garden. It is one of the most annoying pests I have ever seen and eradication from it can only be done through moving, and even then there are no guarantees that you will not get a repeat infestation. One of these bugs alone can destroy everything in the garden, worse than Deer damage, this pest can overturn every rock remove every bud and kill every blade of grass. They can be found world wide and years of infestation may allow your garden to recover, but reinfestation could recur at any time. These garden killers are usually attracted by the biggest, showiest, brightest blooms, it will swoop down and cut the bloom from its stem in its powerful claws. My infestation comes in the form of a Daniel, a male of the species, can also be commonly named a Chris, Adam, Derrick, Taylor etc, females commonly can be Tanya, Julie, Sandy or any other human name. Daniel is at the peak of destruction at the age of four years, and is capable of sending C or I to the loony bin at any moment. This pest will insistently ask "WHY?" regardless of the response it is IMPERATIVE that this pest be stopped before you get to my level of infestation. I cannot step over the threshold of my doorstep before he is standing on my driveway wanting to know what it is exactly that I will be doing outside my house. He will follow C or I around while we do yardwork without words. We have no fence, he has no boundaries, he stands at my kitchen windows looking in and sits on my porch while I BBQ and talk to my mom on the phone. He pulls out plants he thinks are pretty and my poor ranunculis blooms have been a casualty today, followed by an "oops".. The dogs are also a target, he peers in my window with others of his breed and make faces, no shade or window covering is helpful, and I am afraid that he will hang from the deck framing and fall and hurt himself someday soon. Then I will be liable. I have laid grass seed and compost down only to return the next day to find a layer of gravel on top. I am considering sending the parents of this Daniel a bill for daycare, it $25 an hour standard fees? It might cover soon of the damage already inflicted on my garden and sanity.. My biggest fear will be when the peonies bloom.

If the next after shot you see has a for sale sign, you'll understand.


Blogger TraceyF said...

I am not saying I hate children either, and C and I obviously really want kids, just not other peoples kids. We are the only childless couple on the block and if I remember my childhood correctly, I am in for some serious trouble. If C and I are outside the parents will always send him out to "Play".

12:35 a.m.  
Blogger Karen said...

Heehee. I am also not a fan of "other people's kids". But I found that sometimes I could get them to do work for me, like watering or weeding.

Fences will help, as will simply the passage of time (they get to an age where their friends are more interesting than you are).

But my favourite secret weapon is to think, "Boy is that kid stupid! Wonder why? Oh yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

12:55 a.m.  
Blogger TraceyF said...

He is one of those clingy kids, His parents check to see if I am outside then send him out to play. It gets a little annoying when I can't even make dinner without him on my porch.. I tried getting him to work for me, but he is an "oops" kid, he steps on the flowers,he puts gravel in the flowerbeds and I was very scared to run the lawn mower just in case we did not get all the rocks he transplanted to our lawn. He is always asking what we are doing and where we are going.. I know my potted tomato plants will be FINISHED once he sees a tomato on them

2:28 a.m.  

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